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Pronunciation : al-kuh-MEE-nee

(Greek Mortal) ALCMENE

Also known as ALCAMENE, ALKEMENE

The mortal princess of Argos, daughter of Electryon and Anaxo, mother of Iphicles and a greek beefcake called Heracles.

Alcmene was stunningly beautiful and rumour has it her feminine grace could carry her through a field at full speed without bending a single blade of grass. This led to her nickname 'Lady of the Light Foot' and pretty much guaranteed the attentions of Zeus, but truth be told she could have been called 'Bertha of the rhino step' and it wouldn't have made a jot of difference.

You see, some oracle had been prophecising again - Gaia's nasty offspring were about to try and mount Olympus and god power alone just wouldn't defeat them. As always, Zeus had a plan.

Spotting a window of opportunity while Amphitryon was away battling Pterelaos to make ammends for a disastrous incident involving a flying club and a cow, Zeus indulged in a epic sexathon disguised as Amphitryon. There's a way around every virtue!

You've gotta hand it to Amphitryon, Zeus was at it for three full days and Alcmene didn't find it at all out of the ordinary, her husband must have been a sexual tyrannasaurus, and despite the fact that one of the twins born from this night of pash could wrestle dragons, lift mountains and have sex with fifty women a night without getting the droop, Alcmene was none the wiser. At least until her husband returned and was tipped off by Tiresius.

The birth was a nightmare with labour pains ahoy. Alcmene had been pushing for seven full days with no joy, which is a little unusual even for a child of Heracles size, but the root of the problem was soon clear. Sitting outside of the room was Eileithyia, sent by Hera to delay the birth and her crossed legs and crazy words had Alcmene's womb in a death grip. The quick thinking Galanthis cried 'its a boy!' which made the witch drop her guard and the twins popped out.

Zeus begrudgingly made good on his word of making his first son born on this day ruler of the house of Perseus, as it was Eurystheus who pipped Heracles to the post, but at least Alcmene was alive, just. And besides.. Heracles would have the last laugh.
Family Tree ...
Parents : Electryon and Anaxo
Spouse : Amphitryon
God Fondled? : Absolutely (Zeus)
Offspring : Iphicles (by Amphytryon) & Heracles (by Zeus)
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'ALCAMENE' - Greek entry : 26 April 2007
Page last modified on 27 Mar 2013
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