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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Pronunciation : jig-AHN-teez

(Greek Creature)GIGANTES

Etymology: "Gigant" (Greek=Giant)

Huge and nasty monstrous offspring of Uranus and Gaia.

When Uranus suffered a rather nasty sickling accident, well, not quite an accident - Cronus cut his nuts off, Gaia was fertilized by the spilled blood, scientifically impossible granted, but in Ancient Greece anything can happen and up sprang the gigantic Gigantes.

They may not have been planned but Gaia was extremely miffed at having her Titan children defeated and imprisoned by the Olympians so she put her Gigantes straight to work and it wasn't long before huge rocks, tree trunks and fire-brands were bombarding Olympus.

Peeking over the edge, the gods couldn't help but notice that Thessaly had been plonked on top of mount Pelion, and mount Ossa was soon balancing on top of that. The Gigantes stopped just short of singing "we're building a stairway to heaven" but it was obvious what was going on. The giants were coming, oh yes, they they were coming and they were angry.

To make matters worse Hera had just announced, by way of the most unwanted prophecy, that the Olympians could never defeat them and was pretty specific about who could. Zeus thought he had his finger on the pulse and had put plans in place to deal with this very fiasco, but what had slipped his attention was Gaia's immortality endowing herbs that she had nipped out and planted in a top secret location.

If the giants found them first Zeus's plan and the arrows of Heracles, for he was the hero of the prophecy, would be rendered completely moot. Zeus had a chat with Athena then ordered Helios, Selene and Eos to keep a lid on their shining-gear while they ventured to earth for a spot of Botany.

The problem with the residents of Olympus is they're not particularly well equipped to deal with god-war. With Zeus and Athena hunting for herbs Ares and Apollo were the only two scrappers left and with only a drunk, a crippled blacksmith and a few rag-tag types as back up it's no suprise that when big Z returned the Gigantes were perilously close to mounting Olympus.

True to unwritten laws of engagement Alcyoneus the king of the giants was first to attack and was shot down with an arrow dipped in Hydra blood from the bow of Heracles. He hit the ground ... 'Hurrah!'... then got straight back up again ...'Boo!'
It seems the giant had home ground advantage which was soon nullified by Heracles who clubbed him senseless then dragged him over the Thracian border to finish him off. The herbs came in particularly useful on this occasion as Heracles stuffed them up his nose so he didn't fall foul of the giants human killing stench.

Second in command, Porphyrion, had his chance to shine as he lunged at Hera but a timely arrow from Eros, the god of love, had him trying to rip off her robe rather than her head. This made Zeus's blood boil even though he had a nasty habit of doing exactly the same to all and sundry, but no-one was touching his woman. Allowing himself a wry smile he polished one of his best thunderbolts.

Silenus claims he got involved by thumping Enceladus and it was the breying of his ass that had the Gigantes running for cover, but since he was permanantly pissed i wouldn't read too much into it. Apollo peppered a fleeing Gration with a hail of arrows, Hermes slipped on his cap of invisibility and stabbed Hippolytus and Polybotes was crushed by Poseidon as he flung the island of Nisyros from his trident. Pallas had his skull smashed by Athena who took a real shine to his hyde and ripped it right off him, and it did a sterling job of protecting her from sharp edges as she picked up the whole of Sicily and threw it at a fleeing Enceladus trapping him beneath.

The other gods made the most of whatever they had at hand as Hecate burned Clytius with her torches, Dionysus wounded Eurytus with his ivy clad thyrsus, Haphaestus basted Mimas with a ladle of molten metal and the Fates had a whale of a time swinging their brass pestles, taking down Agrios and Thoon in the process. This primed them nicely for Heracles, from a safe distance, to polish them off with fatal blows from his bow and Hydra blood tipped arrows.

Only the peace-loving Hestia and Demeter refused to take part even though the fate of the entire universe was at stake but there were no serious godly casualties, apart from Ares who was captured by the Aloadae and held prisoner in a giant jam jar for over a year. He was later rescued by a combination of Hermes ingenuity and Artemis's sex appeal, but that's a different story.

The gods were crowned champs but were so busy gloating they hardly noticed steam coming from mother earths ears. Not only had she lost her Titans but now her Gigantes lay dead, or buried, or dead and buried and as the Olympians patted each other on the bum Gaia was busy doing the wild thing with Tarterus. Typhon was on his way...
Family Tree ...
Parents : Uranus and Gaia
Spouse : Don't know, sorry
Offspring : Don't know, sorry
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'GIGANTES' - Greek entry : 26 April 2007
Page last modified on 27 Mar 2013
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