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(Greek Mortal) PANDORA

The First Mortal Female. Sexy, Clever and Dangerous.

At the orders of Zeus, Hephaestus sparked up his forge and began to create the worlds first woman from earth and water, modelled on the goddess of loveliness Aphrodite and blessed with a gift from each of the Olympians.

Aphrodite adorned her with beauty, grace and desire, Hermes gave her cunning and boldness. Demeter showed her how to tend a garden, Athena how to spin. Apollo taught her to sing sweetly and play the lyre. Poseidon's gift was a pearl necklace that ensured she could never drown, then Zeus chipped in and made her foolish, mischievous and lazy. Hey, Nobody's perfect!

Zeus never does anything without an ulterior motive, and the reason for Pandoras creation was simple. She would marry the Titan Epimetheus, the not-very-bright brother of Prometheus who had rubbed Zeus up the wrong way not once but twice. Thanks to him, bones and fat would be the only offerings burning at the alter of Zeus, and stealing the sacred fire from Mount Olympus for the good of mankind was criminal in the eyes of the top god. Now he was going to deliver something of his own... mysery and mayhem, courtesy of the innocent Pandora.

Before sending her to earth, the gods held a big banquet and Hermes presented Pandora with a splendidly crafted box, one of Haphaestus' better creations. She was warned that no matter what she must NEVER open the box... then Hera gave her the 'gift' of curiosity! Doh!

Hermes the fleet footed, not to mention silver tongued, messenger of the Gods delivered her to Epimetheus personally :

Hermes : 'Zeus feels a little guilty for all the thunderbolts and stuff your family have had to endure because of your brothers little misdemeanor, and wants to give you this most beautiful specimen as your wife. No hard feelings, eh?'

Prometheus had warned his brother never to accept any gift from the devious Zeus, but one glimpse of Pandora looking all buff and sexy had his testosterone flowing. The warning was soon forgotten.

Pandora settled into their large home and made the most of her gifts from the gods, spinning, gardening and baking, but thanks to Hera's gift, Pandora was tortured everyday by curiosity.

Pandora : 'Why would the gods give me such a lovely wedding present then ask me not to open it? I mean, it's so beautiful on the outside, how can it not hold exquisite treasures inside? Maybe they were only joking?'

Hermes final words rang through her mind - 'You must NEVER open the box' and she had a moment of clarity. She locked the box in the closet, but was still drawn to it. Then she put it in a huge wooden chest, but she was still drawn to it. 'You must NEVER open the box' Aaagghhhh. Curiosity was killing her, and she wasn't even a cat! She wrapped the chest with chains, humped it out into the garden and buried it under a huge boulder.

She couldn't sleep that night. No matter how she tried, her thoughts kept returning to the buried golden box. She put on her robe and went out to the garden. She reached out to the boulder and it magically rolled away revealing her wedding gift.

Pandora wanted to obey the command of the gods but just couldn't contain her curiosity any longer.

Pandora : 'A little peek can't hurt, right?'

This was a bad move. Her logic was way wide of the mark and as she opened the box ajar the air filled up with such a stink she slammed the lid shut. But it was too late. The gods had each put something terrible in there - Old age, sickness, insanity, vice, passion, greed, crime, theft, lies, jealousy, famine, the list went on and on. Every evil was in there and now that the lid had been opened they were on their way out.

Pain, pestilence, sorrow and death filled the world. Fights broke out left right and centre, brother turned on brother and people were dropping like flies, but just as she thought all was lost, out flew a tiny little Sprite who had hidden at the very bottom of the box. It was Hope! It had been hiding there all the time, single handedly sustaining humanity in times of sorrow, pain and misery, leading us all to believe, in times like these, that things can only get better.

But before you go blaming all of the worlds ills on Pandora, ask yourself this : would you have been able to resist the temptation of that lovely shiny box?

Thought not.
Family Tree ...
Parents : Created from mud by Haphaestos
Spouse : Epimetheus
Offspring : Pyrrha (PIHR-uh)
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'PANDORA' - Greek entry : 26 April 2007
Page last modified on 27 Mar 2013
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