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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Pronunciation : ZOOS

(Greek Deity) ZEUS

Also known as
Greek God of : Law, justice, sky, fate, thunder
Attributes : Thunderbolt, Aegis, Eagle
Festival Days :
When in Rome : Jupiter or Jove

The King of the Greek Gods in charge of earthly affairs and ruler of Olympus, the lofty cloudland that the top Gods called home. But he nearly didn't make it ...

Zeus was the sixth born of Cronus and Rhea, the former being seriously paranoid about a whisper he'd heard from his dad Uranus as he took a swipe at him with a sharp gardening impliment. Taking the precaution of gobbling up his children as soon as they were born was all well and good but poor old Rhea was absolutely appalled with his eating habits and when little Zeus popped out she wrapped a boulder in blankets and hoped her hubby wouldn't notice.

'Honey, dinner's ready. It's your favourite... Rock buns!'

It worked a treat and as Cronus swallowed the neatly wrapped package she hid Mr Future Top God away in a cave on Mount Ida. With only Amalthea to show him the ways of the world Rhea chalked off the calander days until Zeus would return to kick her husbands arse.

When Zeus was big and strong on goats milk, he returned to mount Olympus and declared war on the Titans. Luckily Cronus had the slowest metabolism in the universe and his kids were still sat patiently waiting in his stomach when Zeus arrived to release them.

Zeus was the first action hero, the McGuyver of mount Olympus, battling Titans, winning Olympics and hurling thunderbolts at those who deserved it, but put him infront of a lady person and his brain would melt into a puddle of botty-plops. The guy just couldn't keep his pecker in his pants.

Old Zeus was a sexual athlete who would descend upon pretty much anything if it stood still long enough. And he wasn't particularly particular of species. All game was fair game. He used every trick in the book to nail the fairer sex, even resorting to wounded animal tactics to get close enough to the long suffering Hera. There's a fair percentage of the Greek pantheon that came from his loins and even young boys were on his radar as Ganymede found out. No wonder Mrs Zeus was prone to fits of spite and fury.

But of all his many (many... many) children, Heracles was his favourite. He wasn't Hera's favourite though, and after trying to prevent the birth altogether she hammered him with relentless hostility, but not without repercussions. One time, after trying to drown him in a storm at sea, the suitably furious Zeus hung her upside down from the sky and only untied her because the constant crying was disturbing his beauty sleep.

When he wasn't pounding the bad guys, or goddesses, or mortals in one way or another Zeus was the God of law, justice and... get this... morals. He controlled thunder and lightening and also rain storms which peeved his brother Poseidon a bit. But hey, when you're as handsome and dashing and delicious as Zeus you can do whatever you want to do.
Family Tree ...
Parents : Cronus and Rhea
Spouse : Hera
Offspring : Full list coming soon...
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'ZEUS' - Greek entry : 26 April 2007
Page last modified on 27 Mar 2013
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