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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

The Gods of Scandinavia

The Gods of Sweden, Denmark, Norway and Iceland. The Finns and Lapps thought these lot were smelly and rude so they've got a section all of their own. Bloody snobs.

The line between Gods and demons which is as clear as the nose on your face in other Pantheons is conspicuous by it's absence in Norse Mythology, with their whole belief not so much a case of good versus evil as order versus chaos. The goodly godly types, swamped down with major psycological issues, raised as much hell as the great unwashed.

Huge hammer swinging antics were always good for a giggle at someone else's expence with in-house breeding, cold blooded murder and theft by the good guys perfectly acceptable, while the dirty giants good samaritan moments, such as popping up to impart knowledge, lend a helping hand or save the day (kind of) were conveniently brushed under Asgards holy carpet... or bashed on the head! It's no wonder there was friction.

The Nordic people didn't write as such, they used special characters called Runes. They were made up of nothing but straight lines to make carving them quicker, and while they were all very pretty it would have still taken 20 million years to chisel a single paragraph, a little too long as the world was pencilled in for total destruction on Ragnarok.

Word of mouth was order of the day and fortunately a nice chap called Snorri Sturluson logged the heathen gods with ink and paper and stuck them all in a book called the Prose Edda before they were lost for all time. Thanks to him we have Tyr's day, Wodens day, Thors day and Friggs day, the other days had ridiculous names that were pulled from a giant hat to make up the rest of the week.

Scandinavias most famous export, apart from Carlsberg lager, are the Norse seafaring traders from the Fjords, which is a rather polite title for the thieving shower-dodging looters known to most as the Vikings... 'Probably the biggest pirates in the world'.

Sailing all over the place with their Gods in tow they raised holy hell from Baghdad to Africa, Russia and everywhere else with boat access. And Lief Erikkson, blown horribly off-course, actually arrived in America 500 years before Columbus!

In 787 three long boats landed at Dorset, UK, and a toffee nosed royal official demanded they pay trading tax. What a laugh they had, just before they murdered him, but they weren't laughing after attacking a Monastery in Jarrow and the Monks opened a can of whupp-ass with a ferocity the vikings had never seen. There must be something in the holy water up north.

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'INTRO' - Norse database entry - 19 Nov 2007
Page last modified on 25 Aug 2010
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